The World's Worst Jobs
by Blade of Hellfire
Summary: Two one-shots featuring Kagura and Sougo's love destroying Kabukicho, and Hasagawa writing the ultimate news article: How Gintoki ruins people's lives!
1. The road to independence

**This is my first Gintama-fic; nothing serious. It's just two seperate oneshots featuring how Kagura and Sougo can make Hasagawa's life hell, and for the second one-shot, how hell naturally find Hasagawa. This first one's a lot more focussed on Kagura and Sougo, while the other will be more about our loveable Madao. Also, Kagura and Sougo are already dating in both shots, because I didn't feel like writing about how they got together, since they're meant to be anyways. So enjoy, review, and hopefully the next one will be up soon!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama! The Genius, Sorachi does!**

It was supposed to be a romantic evening for the two of them, and it had been going along, just like that. They were in light, skimpy yukatas, he could see China's perfectly forming, milky white breasts, they were alone with no one to bother them (Sougo made sure of that), and best of all, they had sex three times in the past hour. They were taking a break, watching the moonlight, and Sougo lightly played with Kagura's hair, which was down compared to its usual style. He was glad that only he saw his China-doll's hair like this. But then, the sappy-romantic moment died in a heap of flames.

"Sadist, I want to drive." She said while sitting his lap.

"And I want Hijikata-san dead, but we're both going to have to move on." Sougo replied bluntly.

"There's a difference, mine's possible by law, uh-huh." Kagura argued.

"You're fifteen China, you're not old enough to drive." Okita said, trailing fingers through her hair.

"Gin-chan says I'm not old enough to have sex with you, but we do that." Kagura argued.

Sougo made a mental note to kill Danna for that comment, but he had other things to deal with right now. "I'm eighteen, China; not a thirty-year old man who still reads JUMP and is definitely a closet pervert. I'm old enough to drive, make more money than Danna could see in a lifetime, and obviously better looking. You should move in with me."

"Then the Shinsengumi members will bother us." She argued. "And don't change the subject, Sadist! I want to drive!"

"Why, China?" He asked.

"I want to be an independent woman, uh-huh. And if you don't let me, then I won't sleep over here anymore, uh-huh." Kagura knew that threat would hit home. She knew her boyfriend hated it when she didn't sleep over, that's why she was over so much.

"Fine, fine, I'll arrange it. Just give me two days China." Sougo pulled her down for another make out session, causing Kagura to pout. It had the desired effect, causing her boyfriend to savagely ravage her. Their session would continue all night.

**Two Days Later**

Kagura stood in front of the driver's ed. car, impatiently awaiting her instructor that her sadist boyfriend promised her.

"Excuse me, are you Kagura-chan?" The Yato girl turned to her name being called and saw an older girl, with short brown hair, dressed in a pink mini-kimono, high socks and sandals, and was being accompanied by two Shinsengumi bodyguards Kagura didn't recognize. "Hello, I'm Kuriko, I'm your partner for your driver's exam."

"These things are done in partners?" Kagura asked, confused.

"Un. I've wanted to get my license for a while now, but my father doesn't let me get into a car with boys in it. You can't imagine how happy I was when one of my father's subordinates asked if I a female driving partner was needed!" She clapped her hands together for emphasis.

"Was his name…Okita Sougo?" Kagura twitched.

"Yes! My father was thrilled with the arraignment, and even had the DMV set up the appointment! Isn't it wonderful Kagura-chan!" She smiled.

"Tch! Stupid Sadist!" She growled in annoyance of her overprotective boyfriend

"Oh, Kagura-chan!" The China girl turned to a familiar voice, and was shocked. "I didn't realize you were also a part of my job. Gin-san will be so happy with me!"

"Sa-chan…what are you doing here?" Kagura asked warily.

"I was hired to be yours and Kuriko-sama's body-guard for the driving test, by Kuriko-sama's father." The ninja woman explained. "Isn't it wonderful?"

"Freakin terrific." Kagura vein-popped. Suddenly, a small, portly man, in a cheap business suit and thick cat-eye glasses came up to them.

"E-Excuse me, are there a Kuriko-sama and a Kagura-san, here?" He asked nervously. The two girls raised their hands respectively. "G-Good day, my name Gonkopo Mantsu, I'll be your driving instructor today, I will explain today, how the driving test will work, and then we'll get started."

"I go first." Kagura was already in the front seat.

"Oi! Don't get in the car yet! You have to make sure the car's functioning properly!" He said.

"It's fine, get it. I want to drive, get in, or I'm driving off without you." Kagura replied.

"Either get out of the car or-" He was cut-off by a kunai to his throat.

"I am under orders to execute anyone who dares interfere with Kagura-chan's and Kuriko-sama's driving test. Do you wish to die, assassin?" Sa-chan asked.

"Assassin? What are you talking about? You're the assassin!" He poor man yelled. "Why are you here anyways?"

"When a desperate father needs eyes for his daughter, and a paramour needs an extra sword to protect his desires, I, Sa-chan, the assassin, will be there." She declared gracefully.

"Why are you making an impromptu speech?" He demanded.

RRRINNG! The driving instructor jumped and turned to see Kagura-chan already in the driver's seat. "Let's go." Kuriko was already waiting in the car, she told the men to go back.

**Test**

"AAAAUUGGGH!" The poor driving instructor was clutching to the car seat, and had been cursing the Bakufu for not taking the money to fix the passenger brake in the education car. While Kagura had slammed on the gas, and hadn't slowed down in the slightest.

"Huh? This is a lot slower than I thought." Kagura replied, speeding through the city; people and traffic barely dodging in time.

"SLOW? YOU CALL THIS SLOW? WE'RE GOING AT WARP-SPEED!" The instructor yelled.

"I could walk faster than this, old man." Kagura snorted.

Oh my, Kagura-chan." Kuriko spoke up. "It seems that my father, and your boyfriend are following us."

"WHAT?" Kagura unbuckled her seatbelt, and pivoted her rear on the window-sill of the car, while the instructor desperately grabbed the wheel. "Oi! Sadist! Quit following us!"

"China! You've already failed the test, let's drop this and go to the beach." Okita said in his dead-pan voice.

"NO WAY! I'M NOT LOSING TO YOU SADIST! I'M-HEY TAKE YOUR HAND OFF MY ASS, HENTAI!" She yelled as the instructor pulled her in, missing the dangerous glint in the sadistic swordsman's eyes.

"LET ME GO!" She yelled as the driving instructor finally pulled her into the car.

"PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD! DON'T YOU EVEN REALIZE THAT YOU'RE IN THE DRIVING TEST?" He yelled.

"I WAS DOING FINE UNTIL THE SADIST INTERRUPTED ME!" She yelled.

"YOU-"

"Oh my, there seems to be a rocket coming at us." Kuriko smiled. Kagura smirked and swerved, the rocket blew up part of the street, not her; she smirked in triumph.

Meanwhile, in the Shinsengumi cop cars, Hijikata was desperately trying to keep his subordinate and bosses under control. "WOULD YOU ALL CALM DOWN? IT's PROBABLY JUST A MIUNDERSTANDING!"

"Hijikata-san, you have never felt love, for you have no heart in your black soul." Okita said, aiming his bazooka at the car.

"A BLACK SOUL? YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE BLACK SOUL, YOU DEMON!" He yelled.

"But try to understand how I feel, when I say that a rage boils over me like lava, when I think of another man touching China, even if by accident. There are no accidents Hijikata-san, just empty excuses." He fired.

"YOU'RE THE ONE LOOKING FOR AN EMPTY EXCUSE YOU NUTJOB!" The vice-commander yelled.

"No, he's right Toshi." Matsudaira puffed his cigarette. "When a man is in love, he'll do anything to protect his woman; just like a father who is willing to do anything to protect his daughter."

"THOSE ARE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT REASONS!" He yelled.

"No Toshi." Kondo joined in with his own rifle. "I'd do the same for Otae, that Sougo is doing for Kagura. It's not something you'd understand quite yet."

"WHY ARE YOU TRETING THIS LIKE SCARLET WIND?" He yelled as the rockets went off.

Back in the car, Sa-chan saw the missiles coming, and jumped to the car roof. After throwing a few kunai, the missiles discharged, but the aftershock caused her to fall over and lose her glasses. She fell off the car, losing balance due to her blindness. "Oh…Gin-san…scrape me against the ground again."

Keeping her speed up, Kagura suddenly pulled the parking brake and drove down an alley. Causing the instructor to scream again. "Keep it down, you're breaking my concentration."

"CONCENTRAINTION! YOU NEED REPRIMATION!" He yelled.

"Ne, Kagura-chan…can I have my turn now?" Kuriko asked politely.

"Sure, I have to pee anyway." She replied, zooming out of an alley in front of various cars. For whatever reason, they somehow managed to pull up alongside the curb safely. Kagura and Kuriko got out of the car, while the instructor had raced out and kissed the ground beneath, thanking whatever deity that he was alive.

When Kagura came back for the test, she found something disgusting in the car. "Madao, what are you doing here?"

"At least call me by name, when I'm with you!" Hasagawa yelled.

"Either tell me why you're here, or I'll tell Sadist you're sexually harassing me, uh-huh." Kagura said bluntly. "I don't to be in the same care with smelly Madao."

"THEN DON'T GET IN THE CAR THEN!" Hasagawa yelled.

"Why are you here, anyways Madao? So what'd you do with the instructor, Madao? Did your joblessness chase him away?" Kagura asked.

"NO! I was walking down the street when some guy ran up to me, asked if I had a driver's license, and when I said yes, he offered me $100 to drive a couple of girls back to the DMV!" The older man explained.

"So the guy just grabs a random loser off the street when he runs off into the horizon. Need to tell the Sadist about this." She grumbled.

"Kagura-chan, I'd like to start now, please get in the car." The older girl requested.

Sighing, Kagura did as she was asked and slid into the backseat, only to be shoved over rudely by another passenger. "Hey, what's the big idea-Zura?"

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura." The man corrected; Kagura then noticed something different about him. "Get out of the taxi, leader, it is crucial I get to the town square in twenty minutes."

"Zura…why are you wearing sunglasses?" Kagura asked.

"I had my eyes dilated today, so it was just dreadful finding a taxi without the government rationalists tailing me. Please Mr. Taxi Driver, time is of the essence." The eccentric swordsman pushed.

"Oi! This isn't a taxi, get-" Hasagawa was cut-off by Kuriko starting the car, and speeding off. "WHAT RE YOU DOING? YOU DIDN'T EVEN LOOK!"

"But my father has caught up with us, we need to hurry." Kuriko smiled, going faster.

While in the Shinsengumi car, Sougo's anger had shot off the radar, when he saw an armed Katsura enter the car, with his lover still in it. He and Matsudaira readied their bazookas. "Step on it, this is now a hostage situation." Matsudaira didn't flinch when the car sped up, and took aim.

Kuriko smirked dangerously and swerved left and right to dodged the missiles, and sped through the town, which sadly includes the sidewalk.

"WHY ARE YOU ON THE SIDEWALK? CARS DON'T BELONG ON THE SIDEWALK, THE ONLY WHEELS THAT BELONG ON SIDEWALK ARE WHEELCHAIRS!" Hasagawa yelled.

"Really? But father always says that driving on the sidewalk eliminates assassins." The brown-haired girl replied confused.

"ASSASSINS? WHAT ASSASINS? THE ONLY ASSASIN IS YOU!" The grown man yelled. Suddenly, they noticed there was a slight tip to the road, and realized they were at the peak of a large, steep hill, with the town center at the bottom. Elizabeth stood at the bottom, awaiting her master.

"Hey, it's Lizzie." Kagura pointed it out.

"It's not Lizzie, it's Elizabeth." Katsura corrected.

"Oh, then we're going the right way." Kuriko slammed on the gas, and they zoomed down the hill like a racecar.

"AAAAUGGH!" Hasagawa clutched to his seat. "I'M GOING TO DIE! I NEVER GOT TO SAY GOODBYE TO MY WIFE!"

"She dumped you, Madao." The Yato heartlessly replied.

"AT LEAST CONSOLE ME UPON DEATH!" He yelled. He panicked when he saw that they were getting closer. "THIS IS IT! GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!" But then the car skidded to a perfect parallel stop, Katsura handed Kagura a wad of cash as obvious payment and got out.

"Thank you Mr. Taxi driver, have a good day." The revolutionary left with Elizabeth.

"I'M ALIVE! I'M ALIVE! SWEET KAMI-SAMA, I'M ALIVE!" He had tears streaming down his face.

"Great! I'll just take us back to the DMV-"

"No! No need! You pass!" Hasagawa waved his hands desperately at them. The Shinsengumi cars just pulled out and pointed their guns at Hasagawa. "HEY! WHY ARE YOU POINTING THEM AT ME? THEY'RE THE TERRORITS!"

"You shouldn't be blaming incidents on beautiful ladies, Madao-san." Okita walked over to the Yato girl, and wrapped a casual arm around her waist. "Otherwise, I'll bring you in for contempt."

"Ne, Sadist? Can we go to the beach now? I'm bored." Kagura complained.

"You don't want your driver's license, China?" The young man raised a brow.

"Nah. I run faster than that old clunker any day; the only fun thing about cars is having car-sex with Sadist, uh-huh." Kagura replied.

Okita's pants suddenly got very tight, and his grip around her waist became tighter and possessive. "China…Hijikata-san just got the leather in his car-seats reupholstered, let's try them out."

"I'm with you, uh-huh. But what if it smells like mayonnaise?" The girl crinkled her nose at the thought.

"Then Hijikata-san's rotting corpse, will drive out the smell…" The boy skillfully lead the Yato girl away, leaving Madao to his fate, as well as his men to deal with the fiasco.

"OI! WHY AM I BEING ARRESTED? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING THIS TIME!" Hasagawa yelled as he was shoved into a cop car, while Kuriko had a much happier ending.

"Yay! I got my license!" A win for teenage girls everywhere, a loss for overprotective fathers.

**Next one-shot, coming soon!**


	2. The remaining dignity of a jobless man

**Hey guys! Here's my other Gintama one-shot, and this one's about Hasagawa, and how he interviews people who Gintoki had had encoutners with- good or bad. Okita and Kagura, and many more of the people we love are featured. So please enjoy and review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama**

Hasagawa stared longingly at the Pichinko parlor, he had his chance at winning the jackpot, but once again, it was ruined…by him. The jobless man remembered that he was sitting at his own machine, but his cheap, car-trunk-sold sushi came back to bite his ass, and he had barely made the bathroom in time to take a dump. When he got back, he had saw that his supposed friend, more like unfortunate acquaintance, Gintoki Sakata had taken his spot, and had the nerve of drinking Strawberry milk while he was playing. After tackling the silver-haired man to the ground, another person had sat down, and he had won the freakin' jackpot! After trying to get the money, both he and Gintoki had been brought in by Hijikata and Okita, who seemed very amused. In fact, Okita seemed more than happy about setting a bad example to the young Yato living with him; even threatening him for his negligence.

So, here he was now, jobless, money-less, and on the brink of suicide once again; or simply lying around, looking at the sky. Then a conversation between two women caught his attention, curiously, he got closer until he could hear better. "So, like, I'm failing my creative writing class, and my story was about a tragedy. My teacher said, I like had no talent in miserable writing."

"That's because you need to have a miserable life in order to write about misery, and we don't have that, obviously. I mean, we're rich enough to be wearing sailor fukus!" The other high school girl shrugged. "It's too bad, I heard the newspaper is looking for a writer to talk about personal opinions, and stuff."

"Yeah…but who could write about being miserable all the time, no one's life could possibly be that miserable." The other girl replied.

'Hey, I have a completely miserable life! Yosh! A new job!' Hasagawa rubbed his hands together gleefully at the thought.

"Oi, Madao." He snapped his head up, and saw the first-division commander of the Shinsengumi. The young man looked at him neutrally, and eventually spoke. "I won't arrest you the next time you're around China, I'll turn you into a corpse-container for undercover reasons. Even someone as worthless as you could become a duffle bag." He walked off casually, leaving a broken man behind.

**Later that day**

For once things went smoothly, and Hasagawa actually got the job, the only problem was…he had no idea what to write, his deadline was coming up, and he was certaini Gintoki was going to ruin this job for him as well. The question was how, how was that bastard going to do it this time? Not realizing where he was walking, he suddenly bumped into something small and firm. "Watch where you're going, uh-huh!"

That voice! Oh no! He stared at the Yato girl, glaring at him in annoyance. "Er…sorry Kagura-chan, I was just on my way to gather inspiration."

"You could just say Yoshiwara like everyone else does." Kagura shrugged.

"I don't have the kind of money! And I wasn't even talking about that kind of inspiration, you little brat!" He yelled.

"But you felt up my chest when you bumped into me." She replied, chewing on a piece of Sunboku.

"NO I DIDN'T! YOU'RE COMPLETLEY MAKING THAT UP!" Madao yelled. The adult man, suddenly felt a sword at the back of his neck. He gulped when he remembered just who exactly the Yato girl's boyfriend was.

"What did I say about my catching you near China, Madao?" He asked coolly.

"Oh. Hey Sadist." Kagura waved as she chewed her bitter treat. "Why you mad at Madao?"

"I saw him stalking two high school girls; they were in sailor fukus, which makes it obvious that he is a lolicon, as well as sexual deviant. China, the sailor fuku is one of the most obvious fetishes, that only an amateur, deviant, pervert would get turned on by that." Sougo explained logically.

"HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN HER THEN? AREN'T YOU FIVE YEARS OLDER THAN HER, OR SOMETHING?" Hasawgawa exclaimed.

"Mind your own business Madao!" Kagura kicked his butt harshly, sending him fifty feet into the air. She calmly joined Sougo's side, and the sadistic couple watched as Madao plowed into the earth. "Get a job, Madao. If you had a life, then you wouldn't bother sticking your nose into oter people's."

"I do have a job!" Hasagawa exclaimed. "I just got a job as a newspaper journalist!"

"How much does it pay?" Sougo challenged.

"Er…"

"Do you even have a story published yet?" Kagura asked in the same dead-panned manner. Seeing as how he didn't answer either of those questions, the sadists smirked in triumph. "The useless Madao strikes again. He'll get fired before the first article's out."

"Indeed; he's a waste of our breath, China." Sougo replied, leading them away.

"I WOULD'VE GOTTEN FIRED ANYWAYS! THAT DAMNED GINTOKI WOULD SHO UP AND RUIN EVERYTHING JUST LIKE HE ALAYS HAS!" He yelled.

Kagura sweat-dropped. "If you're that mad at him, then write an article about how Gin-chan ruins people's lives." At this, the adult, jobless man stopped crying.

Sougo put on a small, evil smirk. "China's right. If you think about it logically, while Danna's helped many people in Kabuki-cho, more often than not he's often the root cause of it, and makes people's lives miserable long after the conflict is settled. For example, he and Megane-san insist that China does not live with me."

"It's not just them, perverted Sadist." Kagura shoved him slightly. "Besides you, Granny Otose complains a lot, that useless ninja- Hattori keeps getting his butt crashed into Gin-chan's scooter, he's sexually harassed Anego, Tsukuyo, and other women we've helped in the past. Gin-chan's an all-around bad-luck generator."

Noticing that the man seemed awestruck, Okita had enough, and pulled Kagura's hand slightly. "Come on China, Madao's no longer breathing. Hopefully he'll just turn into a statue."

"Yeah. A glass statue, so we can break it with a hammer, uh-huh!" Kagura pumped her fist up.

Normally the jobless man would cry, but Hasagawa didn't cry; in fact, he was sure Kami-sama had just offered him sake.

**Later that Day**

Hattori Zenzou, walked down the street, pissed off beyond hell because his dispute with Gintoki Sakata over who would get the last issue of JUMP. The magazine ripped in half, Gintoki fled the store from the angry manager, and Hattori had to pay for a useless ripped magazine. Today was a terrible day until… "Step right up folks! Come and relish in this grand opportunity to tell all of Kabukicho how, Yorozu, odd-jobs Sakata Gintoki, ruined your life!"

"What if he's still currently ruining your life?" Some random person of the long line people yelled.

"Yes! Your story is more than welcome as well!" Hasagawa yelled.

Hattori could only stare at the sight before him, the jobless man had set up a booth that read "How Sakata Gintoki ruined my life: What's your story?", and had a line of people about a mile long. Including Tsukuyo from Yoshiwara, Kondo and Hijikata from the Shinsengumi, Otose, Katherine, Shinpachi, Otae, the Yagyuu Kyuubei and Tojo, Katsura, and finally Sougo and Kagura who were having a fierce Sunboku/Pocky game in line.

After about a minute, it finally clicked in the rich ninja's head. "OH MY GODD! FINALLY! THANK YOU!" Hattori raced for his place in line.

**The Next Day**

Living with Kagura, Gintoki was used to waking up with her Shinsengumi boyfriend aiming his trusty bazooka at his head, he was sued to waiting up all night for his younger-sister Yato-girl to come home, and most of all…he was used to waking up to a lot of noise. But what he wasn't used to was waking up to Kagura, Okita, _and _Shinpachi sitting on the couch, reading the _same _newspaper. To make things even weirder, they were all laughing hysterically…even the prince of sadists! "Oi…what's everyone reading?" They all stopped laughing and turned to stare at him, only to burst out laughing a second later. "OI! WHAT'S SO FUNNY? TELL ME!"

"Gin-chan! You're famous!" Kagura shoved the newspaper in his face.

"Congratulations Danna, perhaps your uselessness can be your new income." Sougo replied, an arm around Kagura's shoulders.

"Gin-san…I hope this means I can actually get paid now." Shinpachi ended it.

"What are you idiots talking about?" Gintoki glanced at the paper, and his eyes bugged out of his head. "…I'm hung over aren't I? The old hag slipped something into my drink for not paying rent, that's got to be it!" He was running his hand through his perm in agitation. "There's no way this is real, not real!"

The article of the paper was very well written:

_In the dark land of Kabukicho, there are very few lights of hope, but all the hope of life is sucked up by one, Sakata Gintoki. Sakata Gintoki has been a proven bad karma tool in the town of Kabukicho for a total of three years now, and has ruined the lives of all the people h's interacted. One is the author, Hasagawa T., we cannot give you his fullname or it would be conflict of interest, others would be from the prominent Yagyuu family, three of the four devas, Yoshiwara's top assassins, and it has been confirmed that he is currently keeping an under aged Yato girl captive in his home. For further details of how Sakata Gintoki ruins life, please look for yourself:_

_Hasagawa: Every time I run into him, I either lose a job, or my money is suddenly lost._

_Hattori: My hemorrhoids have suffered more than all of Kabukicho_

_Okita: He is a lazy, pedophile, who is living with my girlfriend_

_Hijikata: He's thwarted several arrests, and almost ruined my career with in the Shinsengumi._

_Katsura: He refuses to help an old comrade to fight for the new era of Japan._

_Takasugi: He is too weak to walk the face of the earth._

_Otae: He is a peeping tom._

_Kondo: He spends more time taking a dump, than helping you in a fight._

_Otose: He never pays his rent on time._

_Katherine: He takes up room._

_Sarutobi: He's taken over my heart and mind!_

_Kyubei: He is the love interest, of my love interest._

_Tojo: He has no respect for noble families or anyone in life._

_Gengai: He never pays me!_

_Tsukuyo: He's a bloody womanizer._

_Kagura: He's stinky._

_Shinpachi: He's physically and emotionally abusive, and a slave driver._

_Bansai: The only thing about Sakata Gintoki is that drunk rock and roll._

_ And there you have it! The way of life, ruined by Sakata Gintoki. Stay tuned for more articles, featuring Sakata Gintoki's S&M preferences next._

"WHAT? WHAT IS THIS? ALL OF THIS I COMPLETLEY UNTRUE! HOW DO I RUIN LIVES? ALL OF THESE PEOPLE IN ONE WAY SHAPE OR FORM HAVE RUINED MY LIFE! THIS ARTICLE'S ABOUT ME FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! WHY THE HELL DIDN'T THEY INTERVIEW ME FOR THIS THING!" He turned to the three smiling idiots. "WHO'S RESPONIBLE FOR THIS? TELL ME!"

"You could just read where the author's name is Gin-san." Shinpachi pointed out.

"WHERE? WHERE IS THAT?" He demanded, scouring the article.

"You have to bend yourself forward, and look for it between your legs." Sougo instructed. Whether it was the embarrassment, or Gintoki was just that stupid, he actually obeyed; making the occupants in the room rather frightened. From what it looked like, he was sniffing his own ass.

"Lazy-bum, it's time to pay-" Otose walked in at that moment and saw the position. "The things you do to get out of rent." She puffed her cigarette and walked away.

"HOLD ON! THIS IN'T WHAT IT LOOK LIKE! I WAS LOOKING FOR THE AUTHOR OF THE ARTICLE TODAY! THAT'S IT!" Gintoki exclaimed in desperation as his landlord walked away.

"It was Madao, Gin-chan." Kagura said, having enough of his annoying screaming.

"M…Madao?" Gintoki repeated. "MADAO!" Gintoki ran out of the house and off into the street, most likely to assonate the poor man.

Then there was an awkward moment of silence, then Okita spoke up. "Wanna have sex in Danna's bed, China?"

"Sounds fun, uh-huh." Kagura nodded, and followed Okita into the bedroom; leaving Shinpachi alone.

"…If only I hadn't promised my body and soul to Otsuu-chan…then I could get a date." The glasses kid silently cried himself to sleep.

**Hope you enjoyed my two one-shots! Please check out my other stories too!**


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